Slightly Advanced Statistics

With about a quarter of the season already played (!!), and the Sharks sitting atop the Pacific, 3rd in the West, and 7th overall*, I thought I'd dust off the old Microsoft Excel, dig up some W/L/OTL stats, and see how the Sharks have been doing this season, as well as how they've played compared to some other teams.

First up, let's take a look at how Pacific Division teams have collected points through 19 games...

Gameday Preview: Red Wings @ Sharks: 11/17/11

Detroit @ San Jose
7:30 PM PST
DET: 9-6-1
SJS: 9-5-1

Thirteen Ways Of Looking At A Shark
A parody of Wallace Stevens' "Thirteen Ways Of Looking At A Blackbird"

If you haven't read the original, please do.

Gameday Preview: Sharks @ Red Wings: 10/28/11

San Jose @ Detroit
4:30 PM PST
SJS: 4-3-0
DET: 5-2-0

Hockey Haiku for this preview...

Lidstrom plays defence
Pavel Datsyuk can dangle
Howard likes the snow.

But Thornton can pass
And Joe Pavelski can score
Nemo is super.

Detroit is a pit
It is really kind of sad
But now they've Lions

The Joe is quiet
It doesn't rock like the Tank
Home ice advantage?

No, I do not doubt
I don't doubt the Red Wings fans
But Sharks are better.

Go Sharks, Go! Tonight
Run circles around the Wings!
Come up with big saves!

Tonight, Go Sharks, Go!
Play the best game you can play
Try to get that W.

Prediction: Sharks win 4-3. Goals by Pavelski, Couture, Havlat, and Burns.

Gameday Preview: Sharks @ Ducks: 10/14/11

I like to write with closed form
It’s fun to make a poem conform
So this preview’s in verse
Please don’t find these a curse
‘Cause for some reason the limerick seems the norm

Roughly Anapestic Limericks for Tonight's Game

IT'S OCTOBER

It's October, and every hockey fan knows what that means...

HOCKEY IS OFFICIALLY BACK!

AND NOW SO AM I.


With a new season comes some new features over here at Herrmann's Hockey!
Here's a brief look at some of the posts and features coming your way soon:

Локомотив Ярославль

Локомотив Ярославль, RIP. Даниил Собченко, RIP. RIP Галимов, the last strand of hope for hockey. Fight, Сизов, fight to live, to keep the memory alive. RIP, Локомотив Ярославль.

Memory in math.

Haiku for class, for Lokomotiv

Sasha

The man on that plane

"Brothers, I am Galimov."

But Sasha is gone.

A Couple Blasts From the Past

This video is a must-see for any Sharks fan. Besides the great historical aspect (it follows the Sharks through their first regular season NHL game), it is amazingly 90's. 

Plus you get to see Drew Remenda when he had hair!!!

Why I Want to be an Engineer...

I want to go to Engineering School so I can become an Engineer and design stanchion-less glass for the NHL. I will solve so many problems, and I will make a fortune. Think about it, no Chara-Pacioretty, no Vancouver fluke GWGs.

And that is why I want to become an Engineer.

WOOOOO!!!!!!

Blogger was down, so this post comes about a day and a half late, but...

So, game seven, eh?

Let's Forget About Game Six For a Moment

This is called comedic relief. I would know. I'm in a Shakespeare class this semester!*

So to forget about the letdown that was Game Six (and Game Five. And Game Four.) I'll take a look at something slightly more hilarious.

Umpires.

Analysis of San Jose-Detroit

A single observation. I could write a whole dissertation on tonight's game, but I'll spare you. I will provide just a single piece of analysis. Perhaps you think something else is more important than this that I've singled out. Go ahead and debate it in the comments. But this is one thing that I think killed the Sharks' possibility for a comeback in the third. It may not have killed the game, but it certainly killed the third.

Passing- it's a helluva thing.

In my opinion, the biggest issue for the Sharks right now is striking that balance between producing offensively and being defensively responsible. This is a hard thing to fix, because it's hard to "fix" one without ruining the other. However, there is something that can be done. And it helps fix both.

That would be passing. It's a helluva thing.

Passing is unique in that, when you pass to the right team, you are able to cleanly enter the zone. A clean zone entry allows for shots on goal, cycling the puck, perhaps even some scoring chances. But passing does something else. When you pass to the right team, you are not turning over the puck. When you are not turning over the puck, you are allowing the team to play offensively, and you also don't have to rush back to play on D. So there you have it. Pass to the right team, and you don't have to defend as much, and you get to try to score goals! A helluva concept.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

So apparently Jimmy Howard doesn't like snow showers.

An Epic Snowshower by Jumbo Joe on Howard

This might be why he gets snowed more than any other goalie in the league.

But it's not a new occurrence.

The Sharks (and Joe Thornton) were already practicing snowing Jimmy Howard last season in the playoffs.

And frankly, I'm totally down with it if it means Howard will continue to do stupid stuff that could lead to penalties. So,

Let it Snow,
                   
                     Let it Snow,

                                              Let it Snow

In Which I Trash Talk Detroit In A Single Sentence

Ordinarily I am against attacking a fan base on things they can't necessarily control, but
Little kid excuse: But Detroit starrrteeeddd it!
Big kid reasoning: but Detroit has shown that they are willing to openly mock the San Jose fanbase.
Therefore, I mock back.


Detroit has thrown the gauntlet: They think our fans don't know anything about hockey. 


Clearly the video is edited, which is just one more reason for me to counter this video with one simple idea that settles the matter once and for all.

No matter who wins the series, fans in Detroit have to live in Detroit, and fans in San Jose get to live in San Jose.

We know you're jealous, but personal attacks on our fanbase are not necessary. Because if it continues, we WILL respond.

Not that it's necessary. After all, most Wings fans have to live in Detroit. Sucks for them.

The Lesser of Two Evils

*Note: I intended to publish this before the playoffs started, but life got in the way (I had to get life out of the way before the playoffs started, so there was much to do).

Today the NHL released the official list of the 20 or so referees who have been assigned to officiate the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Given my love for referees, I immediately had to open that link...

"Paul Devorski... Eric Furlatt... eh not a huge fan of Greg Kimmerly... Steve Kozari... CHRIS LEE?!?"

Those who frequent this blog may have noticed that Chris Lee and I tend not to see eye to eye when it comes to officiating an NHL game, so when I saw that he'd been assigned to work the playoffs, I was a little bit disappointed, to tell the truth. Given that he tends to work Western Conference (especially Pacific Division) games, there is an unfortunately high likelihood of his working some of the Sharks-Kings series.

This.

Is.

Bad.

Mmmmm.... Contoversy!

Apparently the way to gain blog readership is to write about controversial subjects like the Chara/Pacioretty ordeal. Unfortunately there's nothing that controversial happening in the NHL right now... but there is an exciting story breaking in the Pacific Division! That's right! Anaheim Ducks Head Coach Randy Carlyle* was pretty mad last night! I suppose he had enough reason to be a little bit ticked off... The Ducks had lost a 2-0 lead, they'd blown a ton of powerplay opportunities, he felt the refs** had missed a few calls in that game***, and Dougie Murray may or may not have injured their best defenseman.

So what does an enraged coach do in such a situation? Well first he chirps at the opposing team's players! Why, then he sends his fightin' line out onto the ice with just 30 seconds left in the game! Then he has them fighters go after the closest defenseman, Marc-Edouard Vlasic! When Vlasic won't fight, but other Sharks step into the mix and suffer game misconducts, Carlyle sends the Parros line back onto the ice again! With 4 seconds left in a 4-2 game! And who do they go after this time? Marc-Edouard Vlasic, aka the one Shark who will never fight, ever. But oh the fun does not end there. In fact, Carlyle's finest moment came after the game when he stormed across the ice (and oh did he storm). Careful lip readers were shocked by the foul language that came out of that man's mouth.**** There has been some disagreement about whether the F-bombs were directed at the refs or the Sharks, but either way I think we can agree Carlyle displayed a serious lack of professionalism. To put the icing on the cake, Carlyle sent up the one finger salute!

So there you go, controversialism at its finest! Although I'm not so sure why there's any dispute over Carlyle's professionalism last night, I do know that Ducks fans seem to be mad for some reason, so bring on the viewers! And dear Ducks fans, Corey Perry is a tool, and Everybody Hates Corey Perry. Thank you.

*I think this is the first time I've used six capitalized words as the first six words of a sentence.
**Chris Lee was one of the refs, of course the officiating sucked.
***But if we're being technical, most of the missed calls in that game should have been against the Ducks, so you should count yourself lucky on that front, Carlyle.
****In the words of the always quotable Randy Hahn, "It looked like Randy Carlyle was chirping the Sharks Douglas Murray at games end. I believe he dedicated a Cee Lo Green green song to him."

An Observation...

Jamal Mayers gets a lot of breakaways for a fourth-liner. Too bad he never scores on them.

Jamal Mayers, not shown on a breakaway.

Maybe this is just me seeing too much into a theory, but I swear to god, about every two or three games I look up and see a breakaway, and who is but Jamal Mayers. Now this does make some sense, he actually logs a lot of shorthanded minutes, but still. Can't McLellan have him practice scoring on breakaways during practice. Seriously, if he scored on every breakaway he's had this season, he'd have at least another 10 or 15 goals.

Absolutely Disgusting

In case you've been living under a rock, news came out today that Zdeno Chara will not be suspended for his hit on Max Pacioretty. If you haven't seen the hit, I suggest you take a look at it (you can watch it here).

Two Questions

At this juncture in my life, there are two questions that keep popping up into my head, and I keep pondering them, but I never arrive at an answer, so maybe someone can help me out with these.

1. Why do Californians hate anything having to do with hockey if they've never watched any hockey?

Irrelevant to the post, this just shows my new plate cover.

2. Why do people feel the need to tailgate? What does one achieve by tailing another?

Invading Enemy Territory

Last Wednesday, I did what many Sharks fans have done before me -- I invaded enemy territory. Yup, that's right. I watched the Sharks take on the Penguins IN PITTSBURGH. It was quite the experience.

Antti Niemi preparing to be awesome against the Pens.

As Promised...

Slight amounts of hockey present in this post... But you'll have to translate. Muahaha.

我們在中文課，所以我寫中文。
We are in Chinese Class, so I am writing in Chinese.

Random Musings... Warning, little to no hockey in this post

1. This blog needs a new name. I'm sick and tired of having a blog with the same name as eleventy kadillion* other blogs. If other people actually read this, I would open up the table for discussion on a new name, but other people don't actually read this, so I'll just have to be creative all on my own.

The teal also bugs me for some reason. Red, white, and blue would look better, but I want the blog to maintain some Sharks pride.

2. Hey, the Winter X Games just concluded pretty recently, eh? Two main ideas to come from this; Louie Vito and the Moore brothers. I don't watch a ton of snowboarding or snowmobiling, but I do enjoy skiing and other snow sports, I love the ski culture, and I always enjoy watching the X Games each winter. It's an atmosphere you don't quite get anywhere else- local competitions aren't that exciting, and the Olympics are more uptight. Basically, the X Games are cool, and this year, I saw a couple of awesome things.

6th Sense

I've developed a sixth sense this season. An intuition that tells me when the Sharks will be scored on. Not the Kovalchukian goals that come straight from faceoffs, nor the Santorelli-type goals that are fluky at best. No, I'm talking about when the Sharks just can't get a clear. It starts out alright- the other team is in the zone, yeah, but Nemo can help us out, and our D will get it done. But then they don't. I see clearing attempts, but inevitably they are blocked right at the blueline. I see guys try to pass to teammates to move out of the zone, but inevitably that pass ends up on the other team's stick. The clearing attempts aren't working. It isn't as though the other team has a great cycle going (although sometimes they do, but that isn't a necessity for this scenario). It's simply that the Sharks can't possibly manage a clear. And then I get that gut feeling. "The Sharks just simply can't clear the puck. It's gonna wind up in the back of our net." And sure enough, it does. The worst part is that every time this happens, there was an opportunity to clear the puck at some point in time, but it was wasted either by waiting too long and turning over the puck, or not putting enough on the clear in an attempt to avoid icing. At the time, they didn't seem like costly mistakes. But then those mistakes start to add up. It gets to the point where I know the other team will score if the Sharks don't clear. I wish they would just take the icing call- it would be better. Even if you end up losing the faceoff, you have stopped the play. You've stopped the rush, you've slowed the momentum of the other team, which is more important than getting a clean clear, something which the Sharks weren't able to do anyways. I'm no NHL Head Coach, but taking an icing call over a goal seems like a logical thing to me. But I'm just another fan ranting on the internet, so this is just one more problem the Sharks inevitably won't fix. And if they don't, it's going to haunt them in the playoffs- if they make it that far.

The Sharks also ran into some penalty trouble in the 2nd, so you get a picture of the penalty box. Perhaps all that PKing wore out the Sharks for the 3rd...

And now I've broken my English teacher's biggest rule of thumb- large, unbroken chunks of text. But I don't feel like breaking up that way-too-long paragraph, so you get a picture instead.

Vaulting

Warning: This post is in no way related to hockey. But it does have cool pictures, so I think you might still like it.

Dear god did I just get side-tracked. I meant to put up this post, but I ended up messing with the settings of the blog, then I was twittering some, then of course facebook jumped in the way. I finally remembered what I was going to do when I minimized some windows and saw iPhoto still open- oh, right! I was going to put up some photos of vaulting (equestrian vaulting, not pole vaulting), because quite frankly no one actually knows what vaulting is.

"Equestrian vaulting is kind of like dance and gymnastics on a cantering horse..."


I don't know how many times I've used that line to try to explain vaulting. Too many times. Often I find the best way to explain vaulting is with pictures. This post is in no way a comprehensive lesson on vaulting, but rather a compilation of cool pictures. Most were taken at the 2010 World Equestrian Games, which means those teams are really, really, really good.

When you vault, you don't use a saddle, and the horse is on a longe line.

Team Germany. They've been doing this crazy dismount for a while now,

 

you rarely see other teams try it.

Team Switzerland. This picture is a bit blurry, but it gives you a good idea of team vaulting.

Team USA! FACE vaulting club, vaulting to Romeo & Juliet. The US actually won the team competition at WEG this year (1st ever gold medal finish for US team vaulting!)

This Post Hates Corey Perry

I may or may not be posting simply for the sake of posting. That is for you to decide.

We played the Ducks last night, in Anaheim. 4-3 win. Jonas Hiller pulled after letting in three goals in about 12 minutes in the first. Couldn't have happened to a better goalie. The end of the game was kind of sloppy, and we're going to have to pick up the pace if we want to compete with Boston on Saturday.

Playing Anaheim reminded me of something- Corey Perry. In case you were curious, I hate Corey Perry.

One of the guys on the right is Corey Perry, who I hate.

Back in November, at the Tank, someone had a sign that read "Corey Perry is a tool." And it had a picture of a hammer. Excellent. Since this blog features the Sharks, it is aimed mostly at Sharks fans. Sharks fans don't like Corey Perry*. Therefore I can mention this little tidbit.

That November game at the Tank? Yes, it was an overtime loss on a bad icing call, but I had a pretty awesome time because I got to hang out in the broadcaster's booth with Dan Rusanowsky. Sometime in the game Perry did something Perry-like, and during the commercial break Rusanowsky turns to me and declares, "That was Perry. Everybody hates Corey Perry."

Fantastic quotation.

Also congratulations to Al Stalock for his first NHL win. Awesome job, dude. (But seriously, he was awesome.)

*Truth. Disliking Perry is actually a prerequisite to being a Sharks fan.

Who Sits?

The Sharks lost 5-2 to the Edmonton Oilers.

43 shots on goal and only two went in.

A Ryane Clowe fight and the rest of the team still doesn't wake up?

Another game where we don't capitalize on the power play? On any of the four power plays?

The fans at the Tank were booing more than cheering last night. And for good reason.

Something has to give.

Yesterday during the the postgame interview, Todd McLellan hinted that benching certain players could be a distinct possibility in the coming games.

"Maybe some guys need to watch a few games."

Will the Sharks actually make anyone sit? Maybe, but they don't often bench anyone other than bottom 2 D or bottom 6 forwards. Therefore, the idea of benching a star player excites me. But the question remains, who would TMac sit? Below I discuss the pros and cons of benching certain players, if I think they should be benched, and why or why not.

Joe Thornton
Benching the captain would look pretty bad for the organization, but with the way he's been playing recently, a benching would be well deserved, plus it would serve as a wake-up call for the rest of the team- If TMac can bench the captain and superstar, no one is safe.

Patrick Marleau
For the past few weeks I've hated Patty's play. He can't pass or catch passes. He never shoots. He turns over the puck all the time. He passes to the opposing team. All around it's just looked like the guy hasn't been awake. But then came the Leafs, and Patty was finally playing like a star. I was so excited- Patty Marleau was finally himself again. But then came the Oilers, and he reverted back to his state of fail. I think the only reason Patty was playing so well against the Leafs was that he didn't want to let Ron Wilson win (Wilson got his 600th win that night). He was motivated for that single game, but now he is back to playing with no motivation. Give him one more chance tonight against the Blues, then if things don't look up, let Patty watch a game.

Dany Heatley
Dany is one of the few players I notice on the ice, but let's be honest, it has more to do with the way he tapes his stick than the way he's been playing. That unusual tape job let's me know that it's Heatley who's got the puck, but instead of doing something Heatley-y, he just loses the puck. His play is uninspiring. He looks like he isn't trying. He may have bursts of brilliance, but they are few and far between. Perhaps a harder opponent will bring out the superstar in Dany, so let him play the Blues, but if that doesn't work, TMac can decide between Heatley and Patty.

Dan Boyle
Dan Boyle deserves to be benched.
He is also the player who would be most pissed-off about a benching.
Bench Dan Boyle. I'm sure I don't want to see the results of playing without Boyler, but recently he has been making many defensive errors- many of which result in goals. He is always the one talking about how people on the team need to try their hardest every night, but as of late, it looks like he's not following his own advice. Also, if TMac benched him, Boyle would be very angry about the benching, and as a result, would come out the next game ready to go. Also, a benching gives him a night off, which he might need. He logs so many minutes that it's possible the workload is getting to him. A fresh Dan Boyle would be less prone to making mistakes. Benching Dan Boyle could solve some problems...

Ryane Clowe
There are two people on this team who have earned the right to play. Ryane Clowe is one of them. Unfortunately, it came out today that he probably won't be playing tonight. He finished out the game against the Oilers, but the team doctors probably got a better look at his leg and told him to stay off the ice. This is unfortunate, but without Clowe (and possibly without Couture), perhaps this next game will serve as the ultimate wakeup call.

Other Possible Benchings...
Really it does nothing to bench someone from the bottom 3 D/ bottom 6 forwards. With all the people we have on IR right now, and all the rookies we have up from Worcester, benching someone from the bottom of the roster isn't going to do much because half those guys are healthy scratches half the time anyways. Really, with this lack of motivation/effort/whatever you want to call it, the only effective benching is going to be a benching of one of the stars. So take your pick, Jumbo?, Heatley?, Patty?, Boyler? Who would you bench if you were Todd McLellan?

Also, Sarah says hi.

So Much For That...

... on multiple counts. The first being publishing posts, the second being that game against the Toronto Maple Leafs. Um, yeah. Haven't thought about the game much because I've  spent more time imagining in my head what might have happened if Ron Wilson had actually allowed Colton Orr to take another shift. It varies from imagination to imagination, but all involve Ryane Clowe pounding him.
(See the picture? Imagine that Oiler is Colton Orr, and then just visualize the force with which Ryane Clowe's fist is going to strike his head. Retribution feels oh so sweet.)

So I literally just remembered this blog now, and I came to it with the intention of changing the layout and color scheme, but then I remembered a conversation/debate I'd had today at school, and it's relevant enough to relay here.

Intent to Injure or Hit for the Puck?
One of my classmates knows very little about hockey, and that is being generous. I had been describing Colton Orr's hit on Logan Couture (acting it out, actually, before Biology) and I mentioned how Orr clearly had "intent to injure." My classmate pondered aloud, "Don't hockey players always try to hurt the other guy they are hitting?" This sparked a mini-debate within our Biology class. It was pretty much me and my friend C against the rest of the class, although C and I are the only ones who actually know hockey. Like, at all. My theory is that while guys often hit each other in attempts to strip them of the puck, or disorient them enough to get a jump on the play. Big hits are also something to get the crowd into the game (ever heard of Douglas Murray?). However, it is my belief that you rarely see players go into a hit with the intention of seriously hurting the other guy, to the point where that player may not return in that game. Yes, you see these hits and these plays every so often, but my point is that they are not common, and are not the norm.

To all my hockey-oblivious classmates: Hockey players aren't actually Neanderthals!* Imagine that.

*Except Corey Perry, and a select few others, but mostly Corey Perry